In the Waiting

(c)2017 Carolyn Miller

This was my first piano solo composition.

Up until this point in life I had always written songs to express my faith in God, but in this moment, I didn’t have any words to say – just a melody. It was representative of Romans 8:28 which describes how “the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” And in this case my ‘groanings’ were being expressed in this piano solo. When I finally realised my need to put words to it, the music began to take on a life of its own and I felt like I was simply scribing the notes in an attempt to keep up with its composition.

As the piece came together it spoke to me about the season of ‘waiting’ that I had found myself in. I was wanting circumstances to change… for something to come along that I could be passionate about. But nothing seemed to be changing.

The music spoke to my heart telling me there can be hope in the waiting when we wait in God’s presence. This hope isn’t the uncertain ‘wishing for’ but God’s hope is a confident expectation in the waiting. I was reminded that hope is looking back to the risen Jesus and the looking forward to His kingdom. Being hopeful actually has nothing to do with my circumstances or my job or my role but to do with living in the presence of God.

And so, in the waiting, I began to choose hope even though I didn’t really know the direction of my life at that time. 

I chose hope because I can look back and see that God has never let me down and is working all things together for my good.

Over the past year I have written many more piano solos… but this one holds a special place in my heart. I realised that in composing this music I was allowing God to speak to me rather than me speaking to (or about) God.

It was opening up a space to clear my mind of my thoughts and open up to His thoughts. Each time I play this piece God speaks afresh to my heart.

And so recently, as we are negotiating a world with the presence of a frightening virus, we have been ‘encouraged’ to stay home. As I play this piece now I believe it is representative of how so many people are feeling at the moment…we are all “In the waiting”.

We are waiting for this virus threat to be over.

We are waiting for a cure.

We are waiting for things to return to normal.

We are waiting to see our close friends or grandchildren or parents again.

Maybe we are waiting for our turn to get the virus?

Maybe we are waiting for toilet paper to return to the supermarket shelves?

Or maybe we are waiting for our careers to start again?

The list is endless!

So “in the waiting” I wanted to encourage you all as I sort of feel that I have been there before. I learnt a few lessons and gained a new world view.

For in (my) waiting I noticed things did begin to change, I wasn’t really stuck in limbo as I thought. But the changes did not occur in my circumstances, the changes occurred in my thinking and in my heart.

For in the waiting I began to choose ‘hope’ rather than self-pity.

In the waiting I began to choose God’s presence rather than frustration.

In the waiting I chose to trust that God has more for me to do.

In the waiting I realised something had shifted… and that something was me.

So…In sharing this piano solo with you I have put together a simple visual. The picnic bench represents “the waiting”. As you listen to the music ask Holy Spirit to show you His perspective on this time of waiting. He wants to do a work in you… ask him what it is and work together with Him and you may just find that even though you are “waiting” for normal life to return, you are still able to live life to the full “in the waiting”.

God Bless and Amen.

About the score… find a sample of the score below. If you are a pianist who is about Grade 4 then I think you would be able to play this. It is not technically difficult but requires mature musicianship for the rubato and to play expressively with a depth of emotion and musicality. If you wish to obtain a full copy of the piano score then please contact me and I can send you a PDF. There is no cost involved… I just like to know where the scores are going. Thanks